Contact details
Buxton Road ,
Eastbourne,
BN20 7LF

07752 211 933

Gender Issues

What should you expect from Counselling4you if you feel that you have a gender problem?

For the first-timer it can be a daunting experience. Perhaps a life changing issue or recent event has led you to seek out counselling, the reasons can be many and varied and may include seeking out support in relation to one's own gender. Once the decision is made to come to counselling it can be hard to know what to expect from our sessions.

As a bare minimum, you can expect to be met by a professional who demonstrates empathy, compassion and the willingness to support you in reaching a place where you will be happy and at peace with. A common theme of gender therapy is for us to help you to integrate your transgender in the widest possible sense and to find your own identity at the same time.

This process can involve being supported to accept yourself as you are.

That is not to say "passing", and a preoccupation with this, will be a theme in counselling for all people. At counselling4you our work is non-formulaic and in that sense, the journey of therapy for a client is very much self-determined. It is your right as a client to decide what you wish to work on and our job to support you in doing so. Thus, while gender might be the main reason a person comes for counselling and support, gender is not, in and of itself, completely separate from other factors in a person's life that might come up in counselling.

As an example, an individual might come to counselling seeking to be more self-accepting of her/his gender and with a desire to express it more fully in the world.

As we both work on this, it could involve exploring deep and enduring patterns that have prevented someone from a consistent sense of contentment with their gender and its expression. We might come across the realisation that the very first relationships in life with mum or dad were not only unsupportive of gender expression, there was a strict template (spoken or unspoken) that you were expected to fit within, with regard to gender expression and anything outside this template would not be tolerated. The message being received by anyone who did not fit in this template is potentially devastating: "it is not ok to be who you truly are". Part of the work between us then, might involve undoing this message if it has been carried into adulthood so that one can more fully integrate his/her gender into her/himself and express it more freely. This type of counselling is longer term and involves a development of trust between us, which is different from shorter-term therapy that will target a particular issue only with short-term goals.

Our counselling service provides a high quality professional psychological service to the transgender and gender questioning community. The values underpinning our work include, integrity, compassion, respect, vitality, resourcefulness, professionalism and perseverance.