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Eastbourne,
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07752 211 933

Anger

If you feel that your or someone else's anger is out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and important areas of your life, you might consider contacting Counselling4you for some help. This is an area in which we have worked for a long time and have trained children, young people and adults in a classroom setting as well as in our counselling rooms.

We all know what anger is because we have all experienced it, whether as a brief flash of emotion or a full on rage. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy human emotion, but when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to distinct problems in many areas, problems at work, personal relationships and in the overall quality of our life. It can make us feel that we are at the mercy of a power that we cannot predict or control.

Not only will we give you ideas and strategies (anger management) to learn how to handle it better, help you get in touch with your feelings and express them, we will work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your negative thinking and behaviour (CBT).

As integrative counsellors we will also explore why your anger is there in the first place and why it is triggered. We will help you heal those underlying damaged emotions that trigger you by what sometimes seem such trivial situations and cause so much conflict.

We will teach you mindfulness, this technique will help you become more aware of your negative thinking, your body sensations and the conflicts in your inner world. Helping you to find a better life balance, calming/soothing your body and mind, thus giving you a better sense of peace and wholeness.

With counselling, a highly angry person can generally move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks
In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You cannot change that, but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can make you even unhappy in the long run.

Remember, triggered anger is irrational and people react (not respond), you cannot argue against someone who is angry, you will not get your point across.

Anger and Relaxation

Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing, mindfulness and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.

There are some very simple steps you can try:

•    Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut.
•    Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
•    Use imagery, visualise a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
•    Non-strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

If you would like to know more about anger and how to deal with it, please call us.